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My Joke Index is your portal to laughter with links to tons of funny and silly jokes, humor, humorous anecdotes, satire and humorous stories.
Relax, click on one the site links above and enjoy yourself. You will find jokes for almost every sense of humor.
They say laughter can help you fight stress, depression and anxiety so come on and let us help you forget about your stress, decrease your depression or lessen your anxiety with a few chuckles.
Featured Funny Jokes, Humor, Humorous Anecdotes And Stories From My Joke Index
Announcing our new section, Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes from My Joke Index is a collection of hilarious, very funny, funny and not so funny, depending on your sense of humor, quotes from people like Bob Hope, Conan O'brien, David Letterman, Jay Leno, Phyllis Diller and more. You can search for quotes by the comedian's name, by category or subject, ie: Life, Marriage, Money, Sports and more. Or if you like you can browse our collection of funny quotes in a Random manner. Which ever way you search you are bound to find funny quotes that will make you laugh. If you enjoy late night talk show jokes, you should check out Funniest Late Night Talk Show Quotes And Jokes By Month from: 2011 and Funniest Late Night Talk Show Quotes And Jokes By Month from: 2012. If you like Top 10 Lists, check out David Letterman Top Ten Lists listed by month and year.
Check out funny quotes and jokes from serious people like Alfred Hitchcock The Master of Suspense, Andy Rooney "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney" on CBS's 60 Minutes, H L Mencken Sage of Baltimore, Oscar Wilde writer, poet, playwright - author of The Picture of Dorian Gray, Samuel Goldwyn Academy Award winning motion picture producer.
You might also wish to check out Serious Quotes From Funny People.
Chess Player - A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."
"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five." - Source Animal Jokes, Humor, Satire And Humorous Anecdotes
Singing Frog - A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.
"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist." - Source Bar Jokes Humor And Satire
High Mileage - A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it." - Source Blond - Blonde Jokes, Humor and Satire
Pass me another blanket - A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not?" giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."
- Source Travel Jokes, Humor and Satire
Romantic At Heart - A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says "I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I’m a divorce lawyer." - Source Legal Humor - Lawyer Jokes - Attorney Jokes
Smile For The Camera - A drug dealer decided to impress his friends by hiring a limousine for a big night on the town.
His first stop was at a posh suburban residence to sell some cocaine to a rather influential individual.
Hoping to earn a little extra profit by blackmailing his wealthy customer, the crook handed a camcorder to the limo driver and asked him to record the event for posterity.
The driver, a an off duty police officer, was happy to comply. - Source Stupid Criminals - Dumb Crooks - Funny Stories Jokes Humor And Satire
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